


Lightweight

by Hello11



Series: 7 Karushuu One-shots [4]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: 3-E fool around like children, 3-E gets drunk, Accidental Marriage, Alcohol, Fake Dating, Fluff, Gakushuu gets swept up with their foolishness on accident, Karushuu Week, Karushuu Week 2021, M/M, Multi, Out of Character, Random - Freeform, Truth or Dare
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 16:47:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29192532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hello11/pseuds/Hello11
Summary: In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to get drunk with twenty five other assassins in a cheap, dingy bar, ogling a handsome stranger with his friends who loved truth or dare and adored match-making even more.---Gakushuu has had enough of this shit.(Written for Karushuu week 2021)
Relationships: Akabane Karma & Asano Gakushuu, Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Series: 7 Karushuu One-shots [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2129892
Comments: 2
Kudos: 55





	Lightweight

**Author's Note:**

> Day 4: Fake Dating
> 
> (I hit a wall writing this one... so it kind of sucks.)

In hindsight, it was probably a bad idea to get drunk with twenty five other assassins in a cheap, dingy bar, ogling a handsome stranger with his friends who loved truth or dare and adored match-making even more.

———

Karma could practically already _feel_ the hang-over he would need to throttle the next-morning, judging by the amount of shots he was downing and the passed-out lumps of bodies in front of him, his liver should be more or less dead at the moment.

Really, he should have known better than to let Nakumura and Terasaka goad him into drinking more than he could handle, he was _perfectly_ content filming all of their drunken states, _(prime blackmail materiel)_ slipping wasabi into their drinks and daring them things they would sincerely regret the next day, but it all went to hell when he spotted one particular strawberry-blond customer, sitting alone and sipping a glass of what seemed like champagne, who Karma can confidently say looked _way_ too high-caliber and handsome for such a cheap bar, but who was he to complain? At least he got to ogle.

The former E-as-in-End class students were all collectively playing truth or dare, much to the chagrin of a few of his former classmates, and Karma was going to _make sure_ he would pair them all up with their 'fated' partners by the end of the day, even if it killed him, and—

_Hayami and Chiba really do need to start dating, don't they? Maybe they just needed a small push in the right direction?_

"Dare you to kiss her!"

"KARMA!"

———

Maybe it was a bit of an overstatement to say they were _all_ playing truth or dare, as half of them were dead, dying, or gone off to do their own things (Karma would bet _money_ on half of them getting together by midnight.)

Hayami and Chiba were somewhere making out in the back-corners as Kataoka and Okano were reprimanding Okajima, who was blubbering something similar to an apology, while Nakumura laughed at his distress, snapping photos of a passed out Nagisa leaning on a blushing Kayano's shoulder as she downed another drink, groaning about how she had another acting gig the next day.

Hazama was currently practicing a few spells and curses on Murumatsu and Yoshida while Sugaya drew on their skin with permanent marker, as Itona (who was, surprisingly, the biggest lightweight out there) was dragging out a complaining Terasaka to get some more "nasty ramen which he secretly adores yet still despises" (Murumatsu curses him out as he says this) while maintaining such a perfect poker face that Karma would have doubted he was even drunk in the first place if he hadn't been snuggling and strangling Terasaka like his life depended on it.

Kanzaki had long since left drunk to play (and dominate) games in the nearby arcade, flanked by Sugino, who followed her around like a love-struck puppy on a permanent sugar-high.

The only ones sober enough to truly play were Nakumura, Isogai, Maehara, Kurahashi, Yada, Hara, Sugaya, Ritsu and Karma himself. The truths and dares were getting more obscene and obscure as time passed, as they got drunker and drunker, and Karma was fairly sure one of them would be blown up and arrested after midnight.

"R-ritsu, I dare you to... hack into the NASA _*hic*_ thingy _*hic*_ and c-cancel their next scheduled rocket! Hehehe..."

"Sure thing, Rio!"

" _No!_ Ritsu, cancel that order! That's _beyond illegal!_ You _cannot_ do that-!"

"It's only illegal if you get _caught_ , Sumire!"

"My goodness, Ritsu, _no- what exactly has Karma and Rio been teaching you?!_ "

(And, once again, Hara was the one acting as their caretaker and mother.)

Karma kicked two of the passed-out lumps on their stomach (Mimura and Kimura) as he leaned back into his chair, surveying his surroundings, waiting for Yada to complete her dare as he listened in on Okuda and Takebayashi experimenting with different kinds of alcohol and handing them off to Fuwa, using her as a test-dummy, _(he would be sure to ask them for the recipe later)_ , keeping his eyes locked on the lone-violet eyed male, who, he must admit, looked absolutely _fantastic_ , even from afar.

Even the bad-lighting didn't deter Karma from appreciating the man's good looks, pale skin and slender but still sufficiently muscular, a color scheme of an angel, shorter than Karma but not by much, he was frankly the textbook version of what Karma considered as his type.

A sigh left his lips as he took another sip of the cheap-beer, why couldn't he have met this handsome fellow somewhere where he wasn't nearly black-out drunk and actually looked _presentable?_ It was probably his karma, meeting someone his exact type when he was drunk and stunk of sweat and vomit, he couldn't approach the man like this, but he wasn't one to be satisfied with simply looking at the object of his desire.

He would have liked to at least make some small talk, but he was sure he wasn't sober enough not to slur his words or make a fool of himself in front of the other - but this would most likely be the last time he'd ever see such a man, so should he really let the opportunity go to waste?

_Maybe_ he'd be able to think more clearly if there wasn't such _incessant chattering_ in the background—

"-arma! Karma, answer me! Hello?!"

Karma grunted as he turned his head to the one calling him - it was Toka Yada - shooting her a glare as he nudged her in reaffirmation, she only snorted in response.

" _Finally!_ It's your turn, for truth or dare. What have you been looking at for so long which has captivated you to the point of deafness?"

Karma let out a long drawn out groan (not before rolling his golden eyes in an exaggerated gesture) making Yada raise an eyebrow while following his line of sight, letting out a small noise of understanding when she saw what - or rather who - had captured his eye.

She stroked her chin, hair in her signature ponytail as she nodded in understanding before speaking.

"...I see the appeal, even as a lesbian..."

She let out a disappointed sigh when she saw Karma drooling, hands on her hips as she raised an eyebrow.

"You could go speak to him instead of, _you know_ , looking at him from afar like a creep? Bitch-sensei would be so disappointed." Yada shook her head, shooting Karma a ludicrous look, making him scoff.

"'ts not that easy... without any incentive, to do so in my current state..." It took quite a bit of effort for Karma's mouth to formulate those words, eyes hazy as they stuck onto the strawberry-headed male, who looked to be checking the time and sighing every few minutes.

"Well, you should make your move before he leaves, this may be your only chance." Yada wordlessly shook her head when Karma groaned again before returning to a drunk Kataoka, who was whining and clinging onto her as she sniffled into her chest, Karma rolled his eyes at the light-hearted sight between the two - _why couldn't Toka just admit she had a crush on Megu again?_

Karma pushed his way back to the group playing truth or dare, Kurahashi now mid ramble about being mad at Bitch-sensei for taking her man, but their daughter was just too cute to resist so she couldn't stay angry, but she would still steal Karasuma if they ever broke up - while a worried Hara tried (and failed) at calming her down.

Karma plopped next to Nakumura as he nudged her thoughtfully.

"Wha-what's this abou'?"

Nakumura snorted, clutching at her sides, trying to contain her laughter, knocking back another drink in earnestness as she continued to giggle.

"Ha! Maehara m-made the _*hic*_ mistake of _*hic*_ askin' if she was over Mr.Crapsuma _*hic*_ it's so-so _funny!_ "

Karma hummed as she continued laughing, thoughts still occupied with the violet eyed stranger (who looked positively gorgeous) silently admiring the lone customer, right when Ritsu's voice rung into his ears.

"Your turn Karma! Truth or dare?"

They were all drinking so frivolously and thoughtlessly Karma began to wonder just how much it would cost to pay for all their drinks. This was a relatively cheap bar, but it wouldn't still be cheap if 25 people drank to their hearts absolute content.

Karma really couldn't bring himself to care, so he knocked back anther drink, surely the sober ones would take care of it.

"Hmm... I'll choose... I-i'll pick... pick dare."

Ritsu giggled in reaffirmation, an according 'bing!' coming from the phones of his former-classmates who were participating in the truth or dare, Nakumura being the first one to approach him as she slung an arm around his shoulders.

"Hehe, y-you chose *hic* dare, didn't'ya? A-at least _*hic*_ you're not a-a _*hic*_ coward like _*hic*_ s-somebody I know!" She glared in the direction she came from, where an approaching Yada was lugging around Kataoka and Okano as she rolled her eyes, causing Nakumura to stick her middle finger up in her direction.

"You're all such _annoyances_ when you're drunk."

Nakumura glared at Yada, almost toppling into Karma when she forgot to step with her right leg first and not her broken left, being caught by the collar before she could fall flat on her face.

"Y-You just don't wanna _*hic*_ admit y-you like M-megu _*hic*_ , Toka! Y-you're a _*hic* coward *hic*!"_

"Call me a coward all you like, but... Well, we all know what happened to Ryu and Rinka after they chose dare."

"T-they _*hic*_ are sucking _*hic*_ each other's m-mouths off _*hic*_ r-right now! T-that could h-have been _*hic*_ y-you and M-megu!"

Yada made a point of flat-out ignoring the slurring Nakumura, staring skeptically at Karma as she leaned in to, once again, look at the person who was keeping his eyes glued away from the horrible drunkards known as E-class.

"Still only looking? Drunk-you sure is reserved about what you like, I hadn't ever pegged you as the type to be all shy towards those you're interested in..."

Karma swatted her aimlessly, dropping the small glass on her clothes, making Yada hiss in annoyance as he rolled his eyes.

"What, you want me to... to flat out kiss em' like you, Bitch-in-training? Bitch-sensei hadn' ever even given advice on how to hook up with somebody' all drunk an' stuff!"

There was a resounding, unimpressed, "yes she did!" and "so you just want to get into his pants?" from Yada, but it was cut off by a giggling Nakumura, pushing her out of the way as she grinned mischievously towards Karma.

"So you _*hic*_ wan' some help with that _*hic*_ guy? I have the _*hic*_ perfect _*hic*_ dare for ya!" She clapped her hands together before leaning in to Karma's ear, her playful smile only growing with every word. 

"I dare you to kiss em' and propose how ya' love him! Yes, do t-that! So? Will you _*hic*_ do it? Or is wittle baby Karma too much of a _*hic*_ chicken?"

And _normally_ he wouldn't respond or react to Nakumuras' taunts (they were _elementary_ compared to his) but Karma wasn't exactly in a normal state of mind, so he ignored Hara's complaints about that being sexual assault - grunting as he grabbed another glass of god-knows-what and swallowed.

_Oh well, might as well get blackout drunk now and regret being born the next day._

He slowly got up from his seat and made his way next to the violet-eyed male, swinging an arm around their shoulders to catch his balance, the stranger gasping in mild-surprise as Karma's left hand began fiddling with his hair, right playing with the collar of his shirt.

And gosh if the man didn't looking ten times better up close Karma would pay for all their drinks- no matter how expensive they may be. He would have easily forgotten what his original mission was -- staring at the strawberry blond's beautiful face could absolutely _hypnotize_ him -- if the man's rather... _kissable_ lips hadn't begun to speak.

"Excuse me-?"

He was instantly cut off by Karma placing a finger on his lips, effectively shutting him up, glowing violet eyes widening a fraction when Karma leaned in.

"Hey, handsome..."

Karma didn't let the man answer _(even if he wanted to hear his lulling voice again)_ dropping to his knees and grabbing the others' slender hand in his slightly rougher, kissing his knuckles as he swears the entire room stills, shuttering of a few cameras in the background is heard yet Karma couldn't bring himself to care--

"Will you marry me?"

The last thing Karma remembers was warm lips on his as he tackles the guy for a kiss, effectively pinning him to the ground, unable to hear his answer as he goes in for the kill _(he's a little disappointed there was no reciprocation)_ and he lays black-out drunk in the others warm arms, sleeping to the scent of strawberry as he ignores the world around him.

...

(He wakes up in an unfamiliar room to the the soft sound of 'bings' and congratulations on his new marriage, blearily glancing at his phone as he sees thousands upon thousands of pictures of the 'newly wed couple', himself and the stranger he supposedly pounced, the angry texts of his friends regarding him not telling them he was getting married, Yada and Nakumura supposedly enjoying the confusion as they simply fed the fire of his truth-or-dare marriage, and a neat little note from the guy he was supposedly marrying, which was basically just an entire letter of pure rage at the fact he had to pay over _five thousand dollars_ on Class E's ridiculous drinking habits because of Karma himself, and the fact that he "doesn't appreciate being proposed to and kissed by a stranger..." and that they were currently a rather hot topic on... _absolutely everywhere Karma looked._

Of course, Karma really couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was fake-married to somebody he doesn't even know because of a silly truth or dare, forget being internet famous!

_Ah_ , Karma thinks suddenly, head pounding with a horrible hangover as he reaches for a glass of water, _I don't even know who this is._

_(I'm married to an absolute stranger.)_

**Author's Note:**

> This was... very rushed.
> 
> Drunk 3-E, it's a fun concept, maybe I'll revisit it properly someday.
> 
> This will be a 3 parter BECAUSE I SAID SO.


End file.
